whitefirebird: (Kagome)
whitefirebird ([personal profile] whitefirebird) wrote2012-09-13 08:56 am

First entry (ever) for PxJ comm September Challenge

This is the first time ever that I've signed up to do a challenge. I'm not sure how well I've done filling the prompt. Feedback, please?
Also this is for the Day 12 entry




Title: Saudade
Series: Alegría
Prompt: Saudade (Portuguese) – a vague and constant desire for something that does not and probably cannot exist.
Rating: K
Wordcount: 616
Summary: He doesn’t know what he’s looking for, or if he’ll ever find it.





Closing the door to his apartment home, he sighed. Another orn, another incident. And another distraction – a new partner, to arrive the next orn, whose designation was Jazz according to his file. Something in his processor wistfully whispered that perhaps this time they would become partners in truth. Prowl ignored it with long practice. All of the others had been provisionally accepted, this one would be no different. ‘And no different in his departure’, thought his traitorous mind.

Logic dictated that the truth never be denied, so he did not immediately dismiss it. With his time split between the Tactics Unit and Station rotations, he worked with probabilities, and with the previous- ‘record’ –data to draw upon, it seemed highly likely.
His ‘partners’ had never lasted more than a decacycle, always asking to be transferred at some point. Prowl didn’t know why, but presumed it to be in response to the ‘cold attitude’ his colleagues spoke of. Though how an attitude could be cold, he didn’t recognise. He just left his emotions at the door of the station, as they all were supposed to. Within that place, and doing his job, he never let feelings impede the flow of the law.
Outside of that, however, was a different matter. Unlike many of his colleagues, who frequented the bars at any opportunity, he avoided the bars and lower entertainment district as a matter of course when off-duty – he’d grown up in that area (and had enough of it to last him a lifetime), and could probably hold his highgrade better than many of his fellow officers. He had nothing against it personally – but his carrier had worked himself to the bearings to get his small family out of that sphere, and Prowl felt it a show of respect for the effort that freed his creators and himself that he never entered those places except as his job required.

Instead, Prowl painted in his free time, and donated many of the resulting works to various places – sometimes to raise money, sometimes not. His apartment was still full of his pieces, despite this. He also made confections that he took ‘round to the local crèches for snack time (his ‘partners’ could never figure out why he was so loved when they went to the ‘job fair orn’ at the local college every megacycle).
He was coming up for 30 vorn in this career – a long time by some’s standards, he supposed. He was still a young mech, but had earned each and every one of his promotions, and didn’t really see himself doing anything differently.

But.

There was something in him, his spark, that longed for something. A sensation of missing a piece of himself was with him everywhere he went, in everything he did. He wanted. What he wanted he didn’t know. Just something. Possibly someone.
A gasp left his lipplates as his spark tugged. In his processor, a fragment slotted into place. He was missing a someone. Someone to see him, like his creators had. To talk to him, to just be with him. That understood his quirks, and liked him for himself. A friend, a companion, maybe more; he didn’t know.
This longing had been with him so long, he couldn’t remember a time he hadn’t had it in the back of his mind, gently nudging him now and again. Though a bit more defined now, it was still amorphous and intangible.

Remembering his parents, and the way they matched each other in all things, Prowl smiled sadly, and withdrew from the window he’d been gazing from. He doubted that anyone like that existed for him. And there was no reason to believe they ever would.



End.



[identity profile] wicked3659.livejournal.com 2012-09-12 09:59 pm (UTC)(link)
Awww I want to hug him! :( I can relate to this feeling. I'm going to sit here and hope Jazz fills that void for him :3 lovely ficlet, sad but lovely.

[identity profile] whitefirebird.livejournal.com 2012-09-13 06:36 am (UTC)(link)
You'll have to wait until the 18th for the continuation of this. The series is coming out kind of happy, which makes me happy.

[identity profile] silberstreif.livejournal.com 2012-09-12 10:05 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh Prowl... you need a few dozens hugs.

"He just left his emotions at the door of the station, as they all were supposed to." - That made me grin. Because, of course, Prowl would be able to take it literally. That most mech CAN'T to it... is not something he gets.

But that his new partner is Jazz gives me hope. ^^ Maybe, he'll see Prowl.

[identity profile] whitefirebird.livejournal.com 2012-09-13 06:39 am (UTC)(link)
Yes, Prowl is rather literal - I like him that way, as it means I can have a lot of fun with stuff "everybody knows", but Prowl doesn't quite understand.

Jazz is talking to me about what his new partner is gonna be like. He's heard rumours even in Polyhex, but is waiting to see if any of them are really true.

[identity profile] silberstreif.livejournal.com 2012-09-13 12:46 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh yes, this is a fantastic quirk of Prowl. He's really nice, but he doesn't quite understand people... and most people don't understand him. It's no wonder he's lonely.

I saw in another answer that you'll write more if this universe. Can't wait for the 18th. I'm curious if the rumours are anything like the real Jazz... and how Jazz and Prowl will react to each other. ^^

[identity profile] fianna9.livejournal.com 2012-09-12 10:11 pm (UTC)(link)
You did a great job portraying Prowl, especially how lonely he is. I love the idea of him making snacks for the youngsters. Hopefully, he won't be lonely for too much longer.

[identity profile] whitefirebird.livejournal.com 2012-09-13 06:42 am (UTC)(link)
When I was thinking about Prowl's hobbies and stuff he does in his free time, I was sort of inspired by vejirazel's "Paintstreaks". I really love that fic, and the way it portrays Prowl, so I thought I could pay a little homage to it here.
But I wanted to give him a bit more of a connection to the local community. Thus the donations and the snacks.

[identity profile] bluebirdsoaring.livejournal.com 2012-09-13 02:44 am (UTC)(link)
Poor Prowl!! So much in life is right beyond one's understanding...he's hoping it's right there...I know it is!! I love this story and a angsty Prowl =) He's thinking about the hard questions and I like to think of him as having come from a hard background...neat backstory! It would be fun to see a part 2

[identity profile] whitefirebird.livejournal.com 2012-09-13 06:48 am (UTC)(link)
This one is part of a series I'm calling "Alegría". The name seemed appropriate given that most of the themes I chose are mentioned (even obliquely) in the song "Alegría" from Cirque du Soleil. And that I think this will turn out happily works with the song thematically.
The languages thing - CdS are a multinational, multicultural performance company, so many of the songs for their shows are in multiple languages. These include French, Spanish, Portuguese, Romany, Russian, and of course English. There are probably others as well.

The next segment will be on the 18th.
Edited 2012-09-13 07:43 (UTC)

[identity profile] sideslip-tf.livejournal.com 2012-09-13 02:43 pm (UTC)(link)
That was nicely done. Good job. Don't worry Prowl - you may be pleasantly surprised this time around.

[identity profile] whitefirebird.livejournal.com 2012-09-17 07:33 am (UTC)(link)
Late reply is late -_- Sorry - trip to see family meant I was sequestered away from the computer for four days.

Hmm, there are a couple of twists in this series. But it will have a happy ending.

[identity profile] purajo.livejournal.com 2012-09-13 03:52 pm (UTC)(link)
Awwww... hang in there, Prowl. Your Jazz is on the way and he's not gonna leave.

[identity profile] whitefirebird.livejournal.com 2012-09-17 07:34 am (UTC)(link)
No he won't leave - unless something outside occurs. Won't say any more, I don't want to spoil it.

[identity profile] camfield.livejournal.com 2012-09-14 11:25 pm (UTC)(link)
This was awesome. A perfect interpretation of the prompt and a wonderful emotional piece. Loved it!

[identity profile] whitefirebird.livejournal.com 2012-09-17 07:37 am (UTC)(link)
Well, thank you! Glad you liked!

Though, the next prompt played silly-buggers with me - I then discovered it fit a different prompt better. So the next piece to be posted on PxJ comm according to prompt-date will be number 3 in the series.

Number 2 will go up on here first though, and I'll link to it in the preface to the prompt-date entry.

[identity profile] mmouse15.livejournal.com 2012-09-19 03:56 am (UTC)(link)
This is very nice. You did a great job setting the tone of the piece, and how very lonely Prowl is. Like everyone else, I'm looking forward to seeing Prowl's response to Jazz.

[identity profile] whitefirebird.livejournal.com 2012-09-19 05:03 am (UTC)(link)
Why, thank you. Prowl did strike me as the one to start this series off with, and the prompt lent itself to a melancholic approach very well. I've been experimenting with what Tolkein called a "eucatastrophe". The major one will be in my "Androgenous" story, but this series seems to be fertile ground too.